bx92Miyzm9HEFkaEhYzly8BCg8g ~Mommy's Moments~: You said WHAT to your kid?

5/16/11

You said WHAT to your kid?

On Single Dad Laughing's Facebook Page, he posted a simple question. "What is something you've found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure.

  • We don't stick things in people's butts, honey.
  • Your arms are definitely long enough to wipe your own bottom.
  • When we poo in the toilet it stays there! We don't fish it out to show daddy!
  • You cannot have anymore of my broccoli until you finish your french fries!
  • We do not chew gum found on the underside of tables!
  • Why on earth would you pee on your brother?
  • Emma, do NOT feed your boogers to your sister.
  • We do not put peeps in the microwave, put toothpicks in them, watch them joust, and eat the one that doesn't blow up.
  • We do not put mommy's lipstick in our bellybutton.
  • We do NOT put our naked butts on the dining room table.
  • No, zebras do not have boobs!
  • Yes, that man does have a penis. All men do. But we don't talk about it in public. Yes...he does too.... now really, shhhhh....
  • Don't suck my toe!
  • No more broccoli until you eat the rest of your dinner!
  • Alex, stop peeing on your sister!
  • Stop licking the shopping cart.

  • No! Don't put the kitty in the potty!
  • Don't kick Grandma!
  • Try not to get poop all over your hands.
  • If you got it off of the bottom of your shoe, it's not a num-num!
  • Typing a swear on Facebook is the same as saying it!
  • Honey, please don't lick the tv. 
  • You blow on the dandelion, you don't lick it!
  • I will NOT help you pull your finger out of your butt. You put it in there, you get it out.
  • Why did you wipe your poop all over the wall?
  • Stop reading and listen to me!
  • You begged and begged for the Xbox and you NEVER play it!
  • How many times have we talked about not trusting a fart? Now go change your underwear.
  • Did you eat my Chapstick?
  • Yes, honey. It's exactly like Burt and Ernie how Uncle Jon and Uncle Brian live together.
  • I teasingly asked my 7 year old son if I could live with him the rest of our lives so that we can always have cuddle time. He responded by saying "OF COURSE!!! We can even share a bed. If I get a wife I will tell her to scoot over so that my mommy can fit in".
  • We do not put our poopy in the toybox.
  • Stop picking on your Daddy.
  • WHY are you licking peanut butter off the bottom of your foot?
  • Fingers do NOT go in the dog's butt!
  • When you start peeing through your nipples, you can take your shirt off to go potty!
  • They are called hiccups, not hickies!
  • Spit that rock out, right now.
  • No light sabers at the table.
  • Do NOT let the dog lick the inside of your mouth!
  • Please don't sit on your brother's head without underwear on.
If you didn't get a chance to answer, comment below and tell us what you've found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would!  Be sure to read the first You Said WHAT to Your Kid?

from Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
 
PS. Which were your favorites today?

PPS. The book The Real Dad Rules will be available to order next week! Get a copy for all the dads on your list this Father's Day Season. And moms... guaranteed you'll love it too!





6 comments:

  1. OMG All of those are friggin funny!!!!! I'm bustin a gut laughin! LOL

    Too cute
    Mommy on the Move
    Nicky

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kids are hilarious, aren't they?? I am a new follower from the Monday blog. Hope you will visit: http://childhoodmyths.net/blog

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ok, now i've had to say a few of those! The most recent being Stop licking the shopping cart. My son did this and two days later got so sick and managed to spread it to everyone in the house but me. It's not a good thing to lick shopping carts!

    My twins like to open my hands to hand me something.. sometimes they hand me boogers. Sad but true.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lol Lol Lol. Kind of scared to have kids now. I have been a live in nanny, and ran an infant room at a day care, but I never hade to say things like that ha ha.

    ReplyDelete
  5. And i thought kids say the funniest things!!!

    ReplyDelete

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